That Luzar And Jim Time Of The Year
Yes, it’s heading towards that time of the year again, as a number of things have brought home to me this last week, so I decided to bring them together and launch a Do You Know It’s Christmas? meme.
So here you have it: a selection of questions about Christmas. It’s time for you to decide whether you are a scrooge or a Santa.
Please note that this quiz is suitable for all. It’s not intended that it should contain any Christmas spoilers if you see what I mean. Also note that the use of the phrase “Bah, humbug!” is really, really hackneyed and clichéd under the circumstances and should therefore be avoided like (join in if you know the chorus) the plague.
- What was the first place you have seen Christmas decorations or lights ‘up’ this year?
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In a shopping complex called The Metro Centre in Gateshead on the 10th of November, incidentally the same day that Santa’s Grotto opened. The lights were up but were not going to be officially switched on until later in the week.
- Do you ever go anywhere specifically to see decorations or lights?
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I had been going to say no, but then I remembered that the Fenwicks department store in Newcastle have a Christmas window display every year with moving characters, music, and so on, and in terms of all of the Christmasses I’ve been alive, I must have gone to see that window display at least 75% of the time, so I’m guessing this has to go down as a yes.
- What’s the first Christmas song you’ve heard this year (traditional or pop)?
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It’s the one that inspired this quiz (and contains the line “while Luzar and Jim have tea”): Jona Lewie’s Stop The Cavalry, which comes over pretty much as an anti-war song, but because it contains the line “I wish I was at home for Christmas”, was released in late November and added to virtually every Christmas compilation going.
I heard it on wednesday, when I was playing on the quiz machine in the Gateshead pub The Trafalgar with a couple of colleagues and we realised quickly “oh, they’ve changed the jukebox over to the Christmas tunes now, then…”
Altogether now: Dub a dub a dum dum, dub a dub a dum, dub a dum dum dub a dub dub a dub a dum.
- What Christmas songs (traditional or pop) do you particularly like?
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As traditional songs go, I’d have to say Away In A Manger and The Twelve Days of Christmas (’cos I know the words to both), but I’ve never liked Little Donkey. As pop songs go, Jona Lewie’s Stop The Cavalry, Christmas Time (don’t let the bells end) by The Darkness and Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl.
- Do you ever attend any Christmas church services (formal or even just carol services)?
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No. I’ve been tempted once or twice, particularly before I had small kids, but back then, Christmas Eves were spent in the pub with my mates. I’ve sometimes caught a few minutes of a works carol service on my lunchbreak, but I don’t think that counts as I didn’t specifically go, I was just passing and stopped to listen to at most two songs.
- Wrapping paper or gift bags?
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Wrapping paper. I use (and receive both) but I prefer wrapping paper because while gift bags are less hassle, it’s nicer to unwrap something than just take it out of a bag, and I find the chilling nature of “let’s put the gift bags over here, they’ll do for next year” rather distracts from the whole proceedings.
- What do you normally have for Christmas dinner?
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Not turkey, usually. It varies widely, particularly as now we’re currently varying between our house, my mother’s house and my sister-in-law’s house, but for the majority of Christmas dinners I’ve had since about 14, turkey hasn’t been provided, and we’ve gone for things like ham, beef, pork, goose, venison (and nobody, but nobody was allowed to crack any Rudolph jokes for fear of ruining the whole Christmas), and this year (with my mother doing the cooking) I believe the plan is for something more exotic — crocodile, kangaroo, ostritch and wild boar. Or something like that anyway.
- What’s the best thing about Christmas?
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Presents! No, only kidding. The presents are nice, but it’s the whole holiday atmosphere that I really like: you can just sense the goodwill in the air. I am aware that a lot of people find Christmas incredibly stressful, but I don’t. I just get caught up in the holiday spirit and wouldn’t be likely to panic if I’d forgotten to put the sprouts on or whatever.
- And the worst thing?
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Normally, I’d just say it was the slight sense of anti-climax you get when it’s Boxing Day, you’re wearing you new jumper, have read your book of jokes and are sitting in the armchair watching the Bond film thinking “was that it?” as it always seems to be slightly anti-climactical after being built up for months and then being over in a flash of lighted brandy…
But this year, it’s got to be the Farepak thing. Thousands of families — and mostly those who can’t afford to lose it — had been paying monthly or weekly into a Christmas hamper firm throughout the year, which abruptly went bust and announced it would be unable to honour any of its committments. Families can afford no more than a few pound each week to have have suddenly had Christmas cancelled for them and their children because the company went bust. It is thought they will see no more than about 4p in the pound of their savings — and that not until the new year. Shouldn’t these companies have some kind of mandatory insurance?
- What does Christmas mean to you?
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Oho, this one is the biggie, isn’t it? Well, I’ve described myself before as a quasi-Christian agnostic (I’m certainly happy to go along with what I believe to be the Christian message: peace, tolerance, understanding and forgiveness, but I certainly don’t take the Bible literally, and have doubts over the “God” and “afterlife” bits), but I see Christmas as more of a secular festival these days any way.
To me, there’s two parts to this: the orgy of greed and consumerism, which admittedly I take part in, but I don’t see as part of the “meaning” of Christmas, and the fact that it’s the time of year when everyone seems to have a little more time for each other, and is a little more pleasant to each other, generally treating each other nicely and being in a good mood. I’m certainly happy to buy into a secular festival of “niceness”, as it fits in well enough with the whole Baby Jesus/Christian ethos anyway…