I found 34 Things on Vigo’s site, and I thought that it was a while since I’d done a meme, so here goes with 34 things about me…

1. Can you cook?

To some extent. I can remove food from the freezer, and heat it up in accordance with the instructions, no problem. Beyond that my repertoire is more limited but I’ve rustled up rice pudding, mushroom soup, spicy pasta, stews, various cakes, beef with mustard glaze and a few other bits and pieces before. In general, I can cook providing I have a recipe or instructions.

2. What was your dream growing up?

To make a living as a writer.

3. What talent do you wish you had?

The ability to fly would be nice.

4. Favorite place?

I’m very fond of the Lake District. But then again there’s the Aletaster to consider…

5. Favorite vegetable?

To be honest, I’ve never tried to rank my vegetables in order of preference before. Maybe creamed turnip?

6. What was the last book you read?

Back Spin by Harlan Coben (a re-read)

7. What zodiac sign are you?

I am a ries. Which reminds me, it’s my birthday soon, come and buy me a pint.

8. Any Tattoos and/or Piercings?

Nay, nay and thrice nay. My body is a temple. I might pollute it with alcohol and stuff, but I’m not going to scribble on the walls or poke holes in ‘em.

9. Worst Habit?

Disemboweling people who ask me stupid questions. Although it doesn’t bother me that much, to be honest

10. Do we know each other outside of blogging/forums?

Who are “you”? Shall I just assume for the sake of this that you’re the person I nicked the meme off? In which case you’re Vigo. In which case I have met you in real life during the AcFo Expo Manchester 05 gig.

11. What is your favorite sport?

Football. I’ll not besmirch it’s good name by using the ‘s’ word, so I’ll just say that if you’re from the US, it’s the proper sport, not the one with the padding, the running and the Quarter-Pounders or whatever they’re called.

12. Do you have a Negative or Optimistic attitude?

Yes, both. Depends very much on mood.

13. What would you do if you were stuck in an elevator with me?

Um … maybe remain in the elevator with you until they’d fixed it?

14. Worst thing to ever happen to you?

I dunno. Being bullied at school for a while maybe, but looking back from twenty years on it doesn’t feel like a big thing. Can’t think of too much bad stuff — I must be having an Optimistic Attitude day…

15. Tell me one weird fact about you.

I got engaged to my wife at a works night out at the Federation Brewery in Dunston. I had planned to propose a couple of weeks later when we were going for a more weekend away in York together, but you know what it’s like when you’ve had a couple of drinks…

16. Do you have any pets?

Two cats — Einstein and Darwin. Here’s a photo of them when they were kittens

17. Do you know how to do the Macarena?

No, and I don’t want you to tell me

18. What time is it where you are now?

Now? It’s about 10:40 PM local time (also Greenwich Mean Time)

19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?

Not really either. If I had to pick one I’d go for “cute” but I’d be thinking “not really that funny”

20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?

My visibility. It would be nice to have a cloak of invisibility, but I lent it to a wizard called James Potter years ago and he’s never given it back

21. Would you be my partner in crime or my conscience?

I’d rather be a Partner In KRYME. Then I could be one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

22. What color eyes do you have?

Mostly white with a couple of other colours in the middle

23. Ever been arrested?

Nope. I have been told by a policeman that I wasn’t allowed to sleep under that hedge, and did I want to move along now, Sir, which was about the limit.

24. Bottle or Draft?

I think you’ll find the word is draught. And yes, Real Ale.

25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?

That’s nothing! I win more than that every week. At least, if I believed the emails I get. What would I do with it? Well first I’d convert it into proper money, and then I’d spend it.

26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?

Mates. I’m not keen on the flavour, but they last for ages

27. What’s your favorite bar to hang at?

Did I mention the Aletaster? With an honourable mention to The Hotspur in Newcastle, too, who have the decency to sell Theakston’s Old Peculier

28. Do you believe in ghosts?

I’m not entirely sure. I’m sceptical about them, but having had a couple of creepy experiences — particularly in The Golden Lion in Lancaster, where I used to work as a student, I’d not dismiss the idea out of hand

29. Favorite thing to do in your spare time?

Fart around on the computer? Sleep? Spend time with the wife and kids? Go to the pub? Some combination of the above…

30. Do you swear a lot?

Not a great deal, but I’ve not got anything against it, and I’ll swear if I feel like it. But I’m not going to swear now just to please you, you bas— you fuc— you pesky meme, you.

31. Biggest pet peeve?

Bigots, probly.

32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?

Briefly

33. In one word, how would you describe me?

Briefly

34. Will you repost this so I can fill it out and do the same for you?

Well here it is, in all it’s glory if anyone wants it.

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