This theory came about because to listen to them, you’d think that civilisation was crumbling into anarchy, that order was descending into chaos and that the entire world was going to end in a big ball of flame just because their particular team didn’t win.

Remember: It’s only a bit of fun. With that in mind, and tongue firmly in cheek, I’d now like to introduce you to:

• As War, fighting Neil Warnock, ready to give ‘em hell in the name of Sheffield United
• As Famine, the feisty José Mourinho, starving opposition forwards of chances to score
• As Pestilence, Sir Alex Ferguson, simply because there must be something wrong with anyone who can turn that shade of purple
• And finally, as the dread figure of Death beckons us towards him with his long bony fingers, we see that underneath the cadaverous skull-like mask revealed the cadaverous skull-like face of Arsène Wenger…