Another spam fritter…

Tuesday, June 12, 2007 9:47 | Filed in Oddities, Scams & Spams

Just thought I’d share with you some of the more interesting spam comments that have been heading my way recently:

I find new link about ringtones! What you think about thisxeessxxx

I don’t think it’s particularly surprising, or interesting for that matter. What puzzles me however is why after suggesting you’ve found a new link about ring tones do you find it appropriate to then provide me with fourteen links to various mis-spelled pharmaceuticals. I don’t think I would be minded to trust and on-line pharmaceutical company that can’t spell “valium”. If they can’t spell it, I’d be asking myself, what’s the likelihood they’ll be able to manufacture it properly…?

As usual, stuff ‘after the fold’ may contain swearing or references to rather rude things.

free lesbian sex orgy!
asthma medicationulplpsa

Asthma medication? What’s that got to do with … oh, wait a minute. You know when you’ve shown people this first link, right, well I don’t think the heavy breathing is necessarily because they’ve got asthma. There may be another reason.

I am replying the post about phentermine no prescription that was submitted recently.foxuiret

Hmm. Well, as I didn’t post about that recently, either you’ve got the wrong site or you’re some kind of dirty rotten spammer. I know which one my money’s on.

Just wanted to say hi, thanks and byetravel insurance cheap commercial insurance

Okay. Fine. Say, that’s kind of an unusual name you got yourself there … and kinda reason behind it?

This has already been sent to the feedback blog but as you are “more in charge” I send it to you as well. Buy viagrabuy viagra

Yeah, yeah, whatever. Did I ever tell you I used to have a viagra keyring? No, that’s not a joke. I did actually used to have a viagra keyring. The joke part was that you just had to get it out and rub it! I also used to tell people I got the keyring by sending off the tokens from the back of the boxes, when actually of course I got it because my mother is a pharmacist and she got invited to some launch event for Viagra (or at least, that’s what she says).

However, because I’ve run this spam selection theme before, I’m announcing a new category: most surreal spam. The entrants this time round are:

What happened to the whales they cant scare them away! Even with tramadol crystal methTellyruio

Phil isn’t about, american idol nude photos gin, for a seasoned professional, so he seemed to a.flogemqihe

waterfront pension is capable of doing that for you. If you are late on pledges, you village riping slapped with penalties.theHtbrastenD

There are several moto yamaha on the ton for willpower place trades. In herbal, cheat contrary gloves to bond any exhibit that they improveYaonigisblingop

We’ll announce the winner later. In the meantime, let’s see what the rest of our visitors have had to say:

Get cock and ball torture photos!!!derndevsevc

Um… no thanks. It sounds rather, well, painful.

Hairy cunt!lwytcono

Erm … is that an advert of some description, or are you just shouting abuse at me?

falconer | falconer | enter the glade | grime vs grandeur | hooves over northland | purgatory crime | hear me pray | the return | of innocence | speak my mind | falconer | the assailant | the trail of flames | i refuse | for life and liberty | the coronation | the past still lives on | power | entering eternity | upon the grave of guilt | heresy in disguise | we sold our homesteads | lament of a minstrel | royal galley | substitutional worldRiguardatta

Wow. I’m like, totally blown away. It’s spam, Jim, but not as we know it. If it wasn’t for the fact it’s missed my rather arbitrary deadline I might have entered this in the surreal spam competition…

Cheap Flights to the UK!UK Cheap Flights

…are of limited benefit, since I’m already in the UK and would have to fly somewhere else first, in order to benefit.

Hi, I really apreciated this website! ThanksLowest car loan

No problem, lowest — you don’t mind if I call you that? I thought you were a spammer at first, trying to get some reference to your site, possibly by including the URL of your site. However as you didn’t, I can only conclude that you’re either a perfectly genuine person with a somewhat odd name, or possibly that you’re an incompetent spammer. Which is it?

Nice site! my site good tooTires

No it isn’t. My filters tell me that your site is a phishing site, who will try to steal confidential information and carry out identity theft. That’s more what I would call a bad site, to be honest.

i’ll visit you again!Online Pharmacy

sigh. Yes, I have no doubt that you will. Can’t say I’m looking forward to your return, though.

Al Qaeda leader Osama bin Laden, who has eluded a US manhunt, is plotting against the United Statesultram

Good God, man! Where did you get that sort of information? Have you informed the CIA? The FBI? Or possibly just MFI?

I came accross this website today searching for any informations. I did not find themTamiflu

Well shucks and goldarn it all to heck. I’m awfully sorry. What informations were you looking for specifically, and had I previously given any indication that they should have been present?

Before I go, since I’ve been asked this question so many times (at least thirty at current count), I think it probably deserves a reply:

Please share your expirience of phentermine. Which one have you used: generic phentermine, herbal phentermine or hoodia phentermine?vavasysh

Well, I’ve never used phentermine. I don’t actually know what is is. Hang on, I’ll go and look it up. Oh, apparently it’s an appetite suppressant of the amphetamine class. No, I’ve never used it, whether generic, herbal or hoodia. Sorry I can’t help. Now will you stop asking?

Now there’s just time to reveal our winner of the “surreal spam” award. Well, it was a close run thing, with many strong candidates but in the end I had to take the bohemian option and go for the one that mentioned gin:

Phil isn’t about, american idol nude photos gin, for a seasoned professional, so he seemed to a.flogemqihe

Goodnight one and all.

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4 Comments to Another spam fritter…

  1. paul canning says:

    June 12th, 2007 at 8:09 pm

    hi jack

    spam is everywhere ;}

    it’s all auto generated text of course, which makes me think of William Burroughs …

    paul

  2. Mike Cherim says:

    June 14th, 2007 at 6:41 pm

    Funny. You get even better spam than me… more variety. Keep posting these Jack and people will find you as the number one site for some of these topics… not sure if that’s a good thing.

  3. David Zemens says:

    June 26th, 2007 at 11:56 am

    I love the Spam that has a link to porn, or pharmaceuticals, or Rolex watches that simply says “Sorry” with a little smiley emoticon in the text. It’s almost like some of the Spam shop workers have a conscience. :-)

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    September 19th, 2011 at 10:30 pm

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