Punchline Party
Someone said recently that it’d been a while since I’ve included any jokes on the site. Well, that’s mostly because they’re all old jokes, you’ve all heard them all before and it seems to be a waste of time typing in six paragraphs worth of joke just to elicit a small groan and a comment along the lines of “yeah, I’ve heard it before … but I heard the variation with a fish in”.
So instead of telling you the whole joke I am instead going to invite you to my punchline party. I’m going to give you 10 punchlines that will hopefully remind you of the joke in its entirety thus registering the same small smile but at much less effort to myself. Plus I like the kind of semi-opaqueness of it: hiding the jokes from people who haven’t heard them before…
- So the first nun got out of the car and shook her fists, saying “Go on, bugger off out of it Dracula, you toothy bastard!”
- “Well sonny,” said the old man, “There’s no real secret. It’s just that fence wasn’t electrified sixty years ago.”
- “Luke…. I felt your presents.”
- “Wait! Wait!” said the engineer, “I see the problem — there’s a little bit of wood sticking out of it just there…”
- “Did you really think I wished for a 12-inch pianist?”
- “That’s no good to me!” said the dog, “I’m a plumber!”
- “Well, her clothes didn’t fit me,” said the second tramp, “…so I took the Ferrari.”
- The lecturer looked deep into her blue eyes. “Absolutely anything?” he said. “Does that include studying?”
- “I don’t need to outrun the lion — I only need to outrun you!”
- The elderly gent shakes his head sadly. “They’re all at the funeral!”
Hello. I am 
Never mind all that, send me your address.
I’ve got xmas cards to send.
Joyeaux Noel.