The Newcastle Beer Festival
Ah, it’s only a few more short months until the next Newcastle Beer Festival. I’ve been attending the Beer Festival for some years now, and certain traditions have developed.
Firstly, I book holiday from work. That’s essential. Not, as you might expect because I’m going to end up getting so drunk that I’m incapable of functioning the next day (generally I get up around the normal time and help my wife get the kids ready), but simply because it gets incredibly busy after about five o’clock when people leave work, so it’s actually quite nice to go in the afternoon when it’s a little bit quieter and have a potter about (and then by the time it gets too busy you can wander off to the nearby and now quieter than usual other pubs).
For the most part, you see the same old faces. The same “witty” T-shirts are on sale (”Oliver Reed and the Tipple of Doom”, that sort of thing). You get the same bar staff helping out. You get the same bloke trying to sell books on the brewing industry in 19th century Norwich for £14. I mean, if it was cheap, fine. But he sells books about obscure drinks and obscure breweries at obscene prices. Why does he keep coming back? I’ve never actually seen anyone buy anything!
And generally, I’ll see the same friends there every year. There’s generally only one friend I actually arrange to meet there, but I can be pretty sure the rest will turn up at some point. And for the last couple of years, I’ve written the Guide to What Men Talk About In Pubs as a response to the questions we receive from partners who invariably ask us what we were talking about, and then are unsatisfied with a response along the lines of “well, nowt much, really…”.
Thus we seek to prove that what men talk about in pubs is “Nowt much, really”, by listing the topics of conversation over the beer festival.
And it’s attracted some interest in the past: I’ve been on Radio Newcastle to talk about it, where the presenter seemed to think I should get out more, rather than spending my time on the computer, rather missing the point that when I was actually writing down this stuff about the beer festival in the first place, I was, well… at the Beer Festival at the time. Still, what do you expect? Also, I’ve been told that this year a friend of a friend wants to know what we’ll be talking about.
So, in case there’s anyone else there who desperately want to know what blokes talk about in pubs — the Beer Festival is at the start of April; expect tihs year’s post around the 6th or 7th…!
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