This is probably going to become something of a regular feature, given that I’m going to be journeying on our rail networks quite regularly in my new job. And in it, I’m basically going to castigate my fellow travellers on the rail networks. Call me a cynical, intolerant bastard if you will (and I’m sure many will), but as it amuses me, and that’s the main purpose of this blog, then I’m going to do it anyway…

Today, it’s the turn of Mr. Interesting.

I spent almost an hour in the company of Mr. Interesting, on the train between Newcastle and York. Arriving on the train at Newcastle and finding the seat that was reserved for me (it’s never one with a table. Surely you’d think on the law of averages I’d be bound to get one with a table sooner or later), I plonked my bag down on my lap and rummaged through it for something useful to read.

I was just about to start delving into the magazines, papers and the like that I’d picked up at the Microsoft event the other week (well, if I’m going to spend the time on the train, I might as well be doing something useful wherever possible) when Mr. Interesting sat down in the seat directly above me and started his phone call.

First, he told his mystery friend that he was on the train. An old cliche, I know, but in some cases it might be relevant news except then he went on to thank said friend for dropping him off at the station. Surely said friend would have expected him to then get on the train, and it wasn’t necessary to specifically tell him or her?

But no, that was just the prologue. Next, he informed his friend that he’d got onto carriage F, because that was the one near him when the train stopped. By now, I imagine his friend was on the edge of his or her seat with excitement, but more was to follow. He then informed us that he’d placed his bag with some other luggage, including a nice blue case at the end of compartment F.

But shock! horror! he then realised that he wasn’t supposed to be in compartment F, and so headed over to compartment E, where he was supposed to sit. Realising that the train was busy with people getting on and off, he resolved to sit down temporarily until there was sufficient space to walk about and find his reserved seat.

This was when I heard:

…and you’ll never believe this. It’s the most amazing thing that’s ever happened in my life! I looked around and I was in seat E66, and when I checked my ticket, you’ll never guess what…Mr. Interesting

…can you guess? By this point I had…

…my reserved seat was E66! Can you believe that!Mr. Interesting

Well, sadly, I can. After all, there were about 80 seats in the carriage, so given that you’d got on the right carriage, it’s hardly unbelievable that you could have been in the right seat.

It is unusual, yes. It may even be sufficiently noteworthy to mention, but if you feel that you need to describe it as the most amazing thing that has ever happened in your life, then …

…well, I’m going to take the piss out of you in my blog for a start. Oh, and you need to get out more.