Father’s Day
‘Twas father’s day at the weekend. This meant that instead of the normal procedure of being woken up early by two bouncing children, I was instead woken up early by two bouncing children with a card.
And indeed a present. Fortunately however not the ‘My Angel’ pants available from Gateshead Council in a strictly limited edition. They only made 48 pairs, so at a guess, there will only be about 46 left…
I’m not sure what I find most alarming: the idea that someone would want you to have the words ‘my angel’ across your buttocks, or the photograph itself which would tend to suggest that the photographer’s view of the buttocks in question was entirely unimpeded…
But Father’s Day isn’t just about slightly sinister pants.
No, because one of the members of Real Fathers For Justice (presumably the paramilitary wing of Fathers For Justice?) have taken the opportunity to climb to the top of the Tyne Bridge with an effigy of a hanged father, and a big banner.
They were still there on Monday morning when I was on my way to the train station: the Tyne Bridge was closed off to pedestrians (good job the High Level has just re-opened, eh?) and there was a selection of Police Officers in those bright yellow jackets ambling about, presumably to catch the blighter whenever he decides to come down.
Let’s be clear about this: I support the idea that fathers should have access to their children after a relationship breakdown. When breakdowns are acrimonious, it’s all too easy for access to the children to be used as a weapon, and that’s plain wrong. In those cases it tends to be the father that suffers, as the mother is usually more likely to get custody.
But these ‘rights’ are not inalienable.
A father who has deserted his family and his children can’t just come swanning back in years later and expect to pick up where he left off: he has to earn the respect of his children back — if they are prepared to let him.
A father who has been violent or abusive doesn’t deserve the same level of access as one who isn’t.
I support the right of parental access (and grand-parental access, for that matter) but I also support the right of children and former partners not to be exposed to violent and abusive people. And that applies whether the parent in question is male or female.
You don’t have rights to your children. You have responsibilities towards them.
If you let your children dress in rags and go hungry, everyone would agree that you’re not doing a good job as a parent. So why do so many people seem to think that it’s okay not to pay maintenance payments which go to feed and clothe them? That’s all part of the responsibility of being a parent.
And it’s about time people realised that children aren’t a responsibility that ceases when you’re out of the room: they are a responsibility that you carry permanently. Sometimes it’s a heavy burden; usually it’s one well worth carrying.
But you can’t pick it up and put it down when you choose.
Real Fathers, for Justice or otherwise, understand that their responsibilities to their children come ahead of their own personal desires (although if you organise yourself, they don’t have to clash!).
When my parents split up, my Dad used to write me a letter every week (because he lived — and still does — at the opposite end of the country, so I don’t see him often). When I was a child, I used to enjoy reading those. I hardly ever replied. I’ve never been good at keeping in touch. That can’t have been easy for him, because it must have felt like he was pouring those letters into a black hole and wasn’t getting anything back.
But he was. He just couldn’t see it. What he got back from that — that one-sided attempt to keep in touch — was a son who knew that despite the fact that he didn’t see his Dad very often, that his Dad still loved him, still cared for him, and would still put the effort in for him.
Now I’m not claiming he’s perfect mind you (and nor am I), but that is a good example of what being a father is about. Fatherhood is about what you put into the relationship with your kids, not what you expect to get out of it.
1234test.com says:
August 31st, 2011 at 1:45 am
Love Can Change Your Business…
[...]To have many skills you can successfully do at many more jobs and doing almost no mistakes…[...]…
san diego houses for rent says:
September 11th, 2011 at 8:10 am
How To Find A Good Rent…
[...]]Having the right knowledge you can do quality work at at a lot of jobs and doing almost no mistakes.[...]…
hypnotherapy says:
September 25th, 2011 at 10:01 am
Find Your Mental Training Tutor…
It’s a website that is new to this topic, see more if you are interested…[...]…
brushstrokes photo to portrait says:
October 4th, 2011 at 11:00 am
Article on The All Topics…
[...]It’s a known truth that skills come pretty handy when doing work for the first time and even more it if is important to us……
carrera sunglasses says:
October 22nd, 2011 at 2:18 pm
What Is Carrera Aviador…
…When you are aware what is your job you will be more successful than when you have no ideas…..
moncler bady down jackets zip black says:
November 1st, 2011 at 2:07 am
How To Get Cheap Quality Jackets…
[...]When you know when doing your work you will do more than if you are completely without skills..[...]…
plastic surgery internet marketing says:
November 4th, 2011 at 4:18 am
Where To Find Best Methods For Marketing…
[...]To have many skills you can successfully do at a lot of jobs and doing almost no mistakes…[...]…
ray ban aviator says:
November 8th, 2011 at 1:59 am
How To Find Good Ray Ban SunGlasses…
[...]Having right knowledge you can be successful at different projects and doing almost no mistakes.[...]…
Business says:
November 9th, 2011 at 11:31 pm
Is Marketing A Big Part Of Business…
…If you have skills and experience, these are are very important to make you happy at all things in life….
Disco lamps says:
December 1st, 2011 at 7:16 pm
What Is Chauvet…
…When you are aware when working at your projects you can be a lot more successful than if you don’t have much skills…..
carrera sunglasses says:
December 6th, 2011 at 12:56 am
Tiffany Sunglasses…
[...]I’m not certain that you are entirely right, but I can agree with almost all of it. This undoubtedly includes a large amount of people agreeing with.[...]…
west virginia university mountaineers hat says:
December 9th, 2011 at 1:17 pm
Best Internet Book Store…
[...]I see you understand a great deal about what you’re writing about. Interesting read. I’ve just had a different concept pop into my mind[...]…
online sale ads says:
December 10th, 2011 at 10:25 pm
How To Find A Mentor For Learning…
[...]Thank you for posting this exciting info. I will verify your web-site within the future.[...]…
solglasögon online says:
December 15th, 2011 at 4:43 am
Billiga Solglasögon…
[...]Writing about a subject like this really is rather difficult. I’ve just had yet another strategy pop into my mind[...]…
Funny videos clipc says:
December 20th, 2011 at 10:44 pm
How To Find Good Real News Online…
[...]Are you unquestionably certain this is the correct facts. I head one thing else. I’ll check out your web page inside the future.[...]…
lunette tag heuer says:
December 23rd, 2011 at 5:50 pm
What Is Lunette Tag Heuer…
[...]Are you certainly positive this can be the right data. I head anything else. I’ve just had one more concept pop into my mind[...]…
http://www.fastcashcommissionsinfo.org says:
December 28th, 2011 at 12:43 pm
Is The Quick Cash Concept Dead?…
[...]I see you know a lot about what that you are writing about. Exciting study. Certainly not forget you can find other options[...]…
challenge coins says:
January 2nd, 2012 at 7:39 pm
How Many Versions Of Coins Are There…
[...]It’s good that individuals nonetheless know a good deal about factor like that. It’s good to know a number of people nonetheless care about this[...]…
Atlanta Roofing says:
January 11th, 2012 at 12:44 am
Do You Want To Get A New Roof…
[...]Writing about a subject like this can be really challenging. I’ll examine your site within the long term.[...]…
cheap fragrances says:
February 4th, 2012 at 3:08 am
Make Yourself More Attractive…
[...]It’s a known truth that right knowledge can be very important when we are doing something new and especially if it is something very important…..
India Tour Package says:
February 7th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Discover The Amazing India…
[...]Awesome data that I’ve been looking for for some time! I’ll check your website inside the long term.[...]…
israeli sex says:
February 9th, 2012 at 1:27 pm
O Seven Unicode…
[...]I believe it’s incredibly crucial that a lot more persons know about this. Keep up using the excellent writing.[...]…
celular dual chip says:
February 10th, 2012 at 7:26 pm
Making New Ideas For Celular Use…
[...]It’s great that individuals even now know quite a bit about thing like that. This definitely includes a large amount of people today agreeing with.[...]…
India Tourism says:
February 16th, 2012 at 11:04 pm
India Travel Online Reservations…
[...]I see you recognize lots about what that you are writing about. Interesting study. I got some fascinating strategies from this[...]…
ghost hunt says:
March 30th, 2012 at 11:17 pm
Ghost Control…
[...]Writing about a topic like this can be rather challenging. Maintain up using the great writing.[...]…
Spring 2012 Fashion says:
April 11th, 2012 at 5:43 pm
Shoes That Will Make You Look Great In spring…
[...]This is really cool. Thank you for writting this[...]…
dallas tx pools says:
April 15th, 2012 at 2:15 pm
Take Care Of Your Pool Every Year…
[...]Awesome data that I’ve been looking for for some time! I got some exciting suggestions from this[...]…