My Superpower: Changing the Newcastle United Regime
Okay, as superpowers go, it’s not the best. Being able to fly, being able to make money appear from nowhere or being incredibly attractive to members of the opposite sex* would all be better.
*although obviously I already have this one as well.
But it is starting to seem that I have some sort of ability to change the Newcastle United regime simply by blogging about it.
Just look at the facts:
- Souness
- — Souness, for the love of God, go! published Wednesday 1st February 2006
- — 2nd February 2006, Souness sacked
- Shepherd
- — In a post entitled Bye Bye, Glenn on the 7th May 2007, I said “I want Shepherd out, and I want him out now”.
- — There was a slight delay, but by the 23rd May, Mike Ashley had launched his takeover bid, and Shepherd was forced out
- Allardyce
- — The Balding Sword of Damocles (calling for Allardyce’s departure) was published January 9th 2008
- — Later that same day, Allardyce was sacked
- Ashley
- — Ashley Untenable? published 13th September 2008, suggesting that Ashley’s reign as Newcastle United owner has become untenable.
- — 14th September 2008, Ashley announces he will sell the club
Can I just make a suggestion to any potential purchasers? Seeing as the club always ends up getting rid of whoever I tell it to get rid of in the blog, why not come to me in the first place. I’ll help you understand what the fans actually want; I’ll help you pick a manager that will understand the fans, and that will bring success.
Otherwise, I’ll only end up using my superpower against you…
[Note: Ashley seems to have missed the point. What the fans wanted was not a bottomless pit of cash, although we would not have objected to the same, it was that our manager be allowed to get on with managing the club, and that he be allowed sufficient funds to strengthen a paper-thin squad, rather than seemingly make a net transfer profit. We wanted the club to talk to the fans. Chris Mort understood that. Llambias didn't. We had no objection to bringing on youth talent, and bringing people through -- indeed we were impressed with the focus on young talent being brought into the reserves. We also -- once FFS had gone -- understood the financial hole Newcastle had been in, and we appreciated Ashley's spadework in digging us out of it. But if we wanted to attract quality players to the club, they needed to come through Keegan: a man who won European Footballer of the Year twice and is allegedly in charge of the club is more likely to be able to convince someone to join than a cockney wideboy who once managed Leeds. What Ashley needed to do was to talk to us, or if he wasn't willing to do that himself, to appoint someone who would do so. Llambias was ultimately the reason Ashley's reign failed: he appointed a man to run the club who didn't understand the fans, and then wondered why the fans ended up alienated...]
Hello. I am 
Have you considered testing your powers outside of the Newcastle United sphere? Trying demanding the resignation of someone else.
Well, there is the natural disaster thing too, I suppose.
But If I have been granted superpowers over Newcastle United regimes, it would be inappropriate to use the powers for myself: I must use them only for for the good of
all mankindNewcastle United supporters.Well, that and battling crime in Gotham City, anyway…
Now all you have to do is predict something that is not entirely predictable