First Date Techniques
The Telegraph has produced a list of the top 10 first date faux pas, and have listed the ones most likely to ensure that your relationship is over even before it has begun.
I can understand some of them — snapping your fingers at a waiter, licking the knife or plate, and not tipping — either give the impression that you are an objectionable ill-mannered oaf, or possibly an objectionable ill-mannered and stingy oaf. But getting drunk?
I suppose it depends on exactly how drunk. I mean, I’ll go out, I’ll have a few pints and be nicely merry. I refer to that as “getting drunk”. I don’t necessarily see anything wrong with that, if you’re still capable of maintaining a decent level of conversation. On the other hand, if you definition of “getting drunk” includes vomiting over your date, and then picking a fight before soiling your trousers, I can then probably understand why your date might possibly object.
The one that puzzled me the most though was the second biggest faux pas — “adding salt to a meal before tasting it”. Admittedly, I’d think this was a bit odd, particularly as I tend not to add salt to food anyway, but I don’t really think I’d find it so offensive as to never want to see that person ever again. This is just the standard autocondimentor; the people who feel obliged to add salt and/or pepper to their meal prior to tasting it.
I fail to understand why people find this more offensive than someone licking their plate clean…
I was also surprised to see that “rambling on and on at extreme length about your previous partner” was not included in the list. Nor was their any mention of “date going to toilet then sneaking out through toilet window mid-way through the starter” which I would imagine would make you less likely to consider future dates (and is also a waste: if you’re going to let the other person pay for the whole thing, at least wait until you’re half-way through your dessert before doing a runner).
Interestingly, Professional Singles produced a rather different list, which appear to have the focus on what a woman should not do on her first date with “that cute guy from the office”.
The general gist would be “eat normally, be polite, don’t ask overly intrusive or personal questions, and don’t start planning the next fifteen years of your relationship out loud.
Although both sets of advice seem to be missing the most important do: be yourself. Granted, acting in an unnatural fashion may (if you usually ask someone how many children they want before licking the plate clean) provide you with a better chance of getting a second date, but this would lead you down the road of possibly having to pretend to be someone you aren’t for the rest of your life, if the dates continue to go well.
Much more sensible to be yourself, and hope that they like that. Although possibly if you are a stingy objectionable ill-mannered oaf, you might get better results if you change your habits and/or have a personality transplant first.
The Goldfish says:
March 17th, 2009 at 10:36 am
I asked AJ what he thought the top first date faux-pas would be and he said, “Commit a lewd act with the waiter?” Which wasn’t a bad guess, it at least involved the waiter.
JackP says:
March 17th, 2009 at 11:02 am
So, would you suggest that if on your first date with AJ, he had committed a lewd act with the waiter, you would have been thinking “thank goodness he didn’t click his fingers! That would really have put me off him…”
Shannon says:
March 17th, 2009 at 4:56 pm
Wow… adding salt before you taste the meal? I can guarantee that I would NEVER notice if anyone did that, first date or not. I definitely would notice, as you pointed out, if they dwelled on their ex for 85% of the date.
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