This one isn’t actually an April Fool, because so far as I can tell it’s entirely true, but it’s so bizarre it ought to be an April Fool, which is why I’m running it here. Thanks to @alncl for bringing it to my attention in the first place.

A MUM of three is dis-custard after a hunt for the dessert sauce in the town proved fruitless. Keen baker Jules Serkin, 43, of West Cliff, Whitstable, needed a tin of custard powder to top off her apple and blackcurrant crumble.

But she was left with a sour taste in her mouth after getting no joy in either Co-ops at Oxford Street and Canterbury Road, and in Somerfield, in the High Street. Even a trek to Tankerton’s Tesco Express — a corner shop version of its superstores — was wasted.

This Is Kent: Whitstable Mum Jules Serkin in Custard Shortage

No custard in Whitstable shock. Well, I have criticised the media before for not talking to issues which actually affect ordinary people, and in being increasingly obsessed by celebrities, but I have got a sneaking suspicion that ‘This Is Kent’ has gone too far in the other direction with their coverage of The Great Whitstable Custard Shortage of 2009.

The complete absence of any real story here can possibly be summed up by Somerfield’s denial:

“We are a bit perplexed about your reader’s trouble in finding custard in the store. It offers a variety of custards including: tinned, fresh, cartons and in powdered form. Today (Monday March 23) it has both Somerfield own brand tinned custard and tinned custard made by Ambrosia. The store stocks Somerfield Instand Custard Mix — to which you simply add water.

This Is Kent: Whitstable Mum Jules Serkin in Custard Shortage

What, so maybe The Great Whitstable Custard Shortage of 2009 ought to be renamed the Lady From Whitstable Who Found That Her Local Supermarkets Didn’t Stock One Particular Brand And Size Of Custard… of 2009?

Although I was also delighted to see that not only was I entertained by the fact that someone had felt this was newsworthy in the first place, but also the Jules was so keen to support local businesses.

“I try to support my local businesses, but in the end I had to resort to going to one of the big supermarkets to get what I needed,” said Jules

This Is Kent: Whitstable Mum Jules Serkin in Custard Shortage

Let’s just recap. Can you remember where Jules went to try and support local businesses? Yes, that’s right. She tried two Co-ops, a Somerfield and a Tesco. When she was unable to obtain the custard there, she decided that she would have to go to one of the “big supermarkets”.

Hmm. Well, the Co-op has a turnover of £9 billion. Somerfield is in itself part of the Co-op group (taken over March 2, 2009). And Tesco is the UK’s largest retailer, and the world’s fourth largest. Which of these, exactly, did Jules see as the ‘local businesses’ she was so keen to help?