It started from one of those conversations. They generally involve yourself, a mate, a pub, and the consumption of a few pints of beer whilst having a general chat about not much at all. Anyway, as these things do, the conversation turned to ancient battles and ancient civilisations, and reporting news of battles — the myths surrounding the first ‘Marathon’ run and so on.

And the conversation turned to the idea of how exactly would you expect the results of the battles to be announced? What would happen if the result of the battle wasn’t actually in? Would you have the broadcaster reading out something like:

Greece vs Persia (Second leg, Thermopylae). Pools panel, away win

And then if you had a pools panel to decide ancient battles, what other sorts of results could you have?

Atlantis vs Sparta. Match abandoned, waterlogged pitch

So as well as these daft little things, when wars are comprised of a series of different battles, you’ll pretty much find that whichever side wins the final battle wins the war. But this doesn’t necessarily mean that they will have won most of the battles in a particular conflict (although they may well have done). So we decided that instead of the victors of a war being determined by who won in a strictly military sense (i.e. had troops left at the end), we should decide who won a particular war by means of producing a league table.

So here are the results from the English Civil War… (using commonly accepted ‘winners’ of each battle, or a draw where no clear winner; particularly decisive victories are shown as such). The results of the battles I have listed show that the Civil War was remarkably close, finally being decided on goal difference…

Despite getting off to a tremendous start to the season, and at one stage opening up a 30 point lead over the Parliamentarians, the Royalists struggled badly towards the end of the season, and were pipped at the post by the Oliver Cromwell’s Parliamentarians. This terrible run for the Royalists, which brought King Charles I only three victories in the final eighteen fixtures is believed to now leave Royalist manager King Charles I facing the axe.

Results of each individual ‘match’ are available below the fold…

1. Parliamentarians 1-3 Royalists (Powick Bridge)
2. Royalists 2-2 Parliamentarians (Edgehill)
3. Royalists 2-3 Parliamentarians (Aylesbury)
4. Parliamentarians 0-2 Royalists (Brentford)
5. Parliamentarians 0-0 Royalists (Turnham Green)
6. Royalists 4-0 Parliamentarians (Braddock Down)
7. Parliamentarians 1-1 Royalists (Hopton Heath)
8. Royalists 4-0 Parliamentarians (Seacroft Moor)
9. Parliamentarians 1-2 Royalists (Camp Hill)
10. Parliamentarians 0-2 Royalists (Stratton)
11. Royalists 1-0 Parliamentarians (Chalgrove Field)
12. Royalists 2-1 Parliamentarians (Adwalton Moor)
13. Parliamentarians 4-5 Royalists (Lansdowne)
14. Royalists 5-1 Parliamentarians (Roundway Down)
15. Parliamentarians 0-3 Royalists (Bristol)
16. Royalists 1-2 Parliamentarians (Gainsborough)
17. Parliamentarians 3-1 Royalists (Hull)
18. Royalists 0-3 Parliamentarians (Winceby)
19. Parliamentarians 4-1 Royalists (Gloucester)
20. Royalists 2-2 Parliamentarians (Newbury — 1st Leg)
21. Parliamentarians 3-0 Royalists (Alton)
22. Royalists 1-5 Parliamentarians (Cheriton)
23. Parliamentarians 1-0 Royalists (Nantwich)
24. Parliamentarians 2-3 Royalists (Newark)
25. Royalists 0-3 Parliamentarians (York)
26. Parliamentarians 0-4 Royalists (Bolton)
27. Royalists 2-1 Parliamentarians (Cropredy Bridge)
28. Parliamentarians 5-0 Royalists (Marston Moor)
29. Royalists 3-0 Parliamentarians (Lostwithiel)
30. Parliamentarians 1-1 Royalists (Newbury — 2nd Leg)
31. Royalists 1-8 Parliamentarians (Naseby)
32. Parliamentarians 1-0 Royalists (Langport)
33. Royalists 0-2 Parliamentarians (Stow-on-the-Wold)