Okay, I’m a curmudgeonly scrote who can’t be doing with these ‘reality’ TV shows. I can’t really be doing with the production line pop churned out by the X-factor, Britain’s Got Talent. Personally I think the question the nation should be asking is How Do We Solve A Problem Like Simon Cowell.

In what may be an unusual step here, I’m going to be clear that I don’t have anything against Simon personally. He’s very good at what he does, he might be a lovely bloke to friends and family and so on; it’s just that the what he does is the bit I don’t like.

I’m a bit sick of every bleeding Christmas having the Christmas number one being the latest ballad-shit churned out by whoever has happened to win a particular talent show that year, simply because they won that talent show and garnered all of the associated publicity, as opposed to all of the other talented bands and musicians who don’t get a free slot on primetime saturday night telly to promote their product.

Unless of course they are part of the judging panel, in which case they do and, quelle surprise, their record turns out to be a hit.

Which is why I was delighted to encounter a facebook group dedicated to trying to get something different to be the Christmas number one. This has the added advantage that the song is by a band I love: Rage Against The Machine, so even though I own the album, I’m happy to purchase the particular song again anyway. It’s the least I can do after spending much of my younger days bouncing around to it at various rock clubs.

The song Killing In The Name is a teensy bit on the sweary side, so if you’re not up for that, you are under no obligation to listen to it whatsoever. And you’ll probably not be reading this blog in the first place. But please do still buy it, to attempt to stop the inevitable X-factor leaving a trail of shitty pop plastered all over the Christmas charts. Besides which, Simon Cowell thinks the whole idea is stupid, and if that isn’t a good reason to be right behind it, I don’t know what is…

Oh, and then we come to the nice bit. Whilst the record companies ultimately behind the singles are exactly the same (Sony, I think), RATM have long been supporters of the homeless and so the site RATM4XMAS is suggesting that people consider also donating to Shelter — who have received more than £33,000 so far from fans donating. Is that not a better way to spend your money than voting on some pissy talent show?

So, let’s give a warm hand to Simon Cowell, accept he’s very good at what he does but say that for this one year at least, we’d like something else to succeed. Let’s stick two fingers up at “the man” and buy what we want to buy, not just because it’s placed in front of us.

Fuck you, I won’t buy what you tell me

…of course, this also applies to this song. If you don’t want to buy Rage Against The Machine, you might also wish to consider purchasing the wonderfully talented comedian Tim Minchin’s White Wine In the Sun (Live) if you’re after something more Christmassy (although still somewhat alternative).

But please do consider buying Killing In The Name. It’s not particularly Christmassy, but that never stopped Mad World or Stop The Cavalry (seriously, it mentions Christmas once — and that almost incidentally — it’s an anti-war song, not a Christmas one). And it’s top-quality full on rock stuff. And if it persuades you to buy more of their stuff, then everyone’s a winner…