When someone loses in some sort of a contest, it is generally deemed appropriate for them to say something positive about the other team. It doesn’t even have to be particularly gushing: “We might not have got the rub of the green today, but that’s not to take anything away from team X who played well”. But what it is important to do is not to sound bitter.

If you sound bitter, it sounds very much like — as Baldrick would say — “a bag of grapefruits to me”. And it also makes me glad that you didn’t win, because if you’re such a bad sport, then maybe either you’re not fit to take part in such a contest, or you’re an arrogant son-of-a-bitch who is expects to win, and therefore needs to be spoonfed a whole heap of humility through a few defeats (the heavier the better).

And that’s one of the reasons that I’m delighted Rage Against The Machine got the Christmas number one. Additional reasons would include that I don’t like the X-factor, I don’t like being forced to listen to whichever good singer (because let’s be fair, they are) meets with Simon Cowell’s approval this year (I like musicians who can play instruments, instead) and also I like Rage Against The Machine.

And, whilst I’m happy — for obvious reasons — that Newcastle beat Middlesbrough yesterday, Gordon Strachan’s post match comments have made me even happier about it. I’d always had a lot of time for Gordon as a manager, and I accept he’s under pressure at the moment, having managed to accumulate only 0.67 points per game in his 9 games so far, as opposed to the manager he replaced who was managing a 1.77 per game over 13 games which was not deemed good enough. So yeah, I’d say he’s under pressure.

But really, if you can’t be gracious in defeat (and in victory), then you shouldn’t be allowed to play the game. My kids would be told off if they had a temper tantrum just because they didn’t get their own way and maybe someone ought to have a word with these people. Just have a read of these quotes and tell me how sour, exactly, their grapes appear to be:

SIMON COWELL has blasted the campaign to get RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE to the festive top spot – branding its supporters “a hate mob”. He says the Facebook crusade to keep this year’s X Factor winner from being the Christmas No1 is akin to bullying.The Sun

This — and the next statement — were both before the winner was announced. Simon, Cheryl, if you can’t stand the heat, you know what you have to do…

I cannot bear to see him lose out to a mean campaign that has nothing to do with his efforts. If that song, or should I say campaign, by an American group is our Christmas No 1 I’ll be gutted for him and our charts.Cheryl Cole, quoted in The Guardian

I particularly like the Cheryl quote, coming as it does with slight overtones of jingoism bordering on racism. Bloody foreigners, coming over here, taking our Christmas number ones…

I don’t recall her complaining about any other non-Brit being top of the charts at any other time, so I can’t help but wonder whether there’s perhaps more to it than she’s suggesting.

And then contrast that with Joe McEddery, who was the one who actually came second in the Christmas chart battle:

McElderry, 18, praised the campaign, adding: “It’s been exciting to be part of a much-hyped battle and they definitely deserve congratulations. [...] This time last year I never thought for one minute that I’d win The X Factor, never mind about having a debut single out, so I’m just delighted to be in the charts.BBC News: Rage Against The Machine Beat X Factor In Charts

That is how to lose graciously. Good luck for the rest of your career, Joe.

But back to those ungracious bastards. Middlesbrough lost to Newcastle yesterday. During the game, Alan Smith of Newcastle was forced off by injury after being repeatedly fouled by Boro players; later on in the game, Pogatetz clearly handled the ball in the penalty area, denying Newcastle a third goal.

Yet did Gordon Strachan see these things as “evening themselves out over the course of a season” (or even possibly a match, in this case?). Well obviously not.

Everyone agrees there was a blatant shove in the back in the build up to the goal. That is what happens when you are Newcastle and everything goes with you. It was a penalty too. It was a good save from Taylor. He stretched his hand and fingers out to get it.Gordon Strachan, quoted on Vital Football

Yes, the ball struck Steven Taylor’s hand near the goal line. Whether or not it was deliberate (I think probably not, he was just turning to face the play), it probably should have been a penalty. Also, there was certainly contact between Ameobi and Pogatetz — whether a foul I’m less sure as Pogatetz seemed to go to ground very easily. But there was nothing at all wrong with Newcastle’s second goal — which is presumably why Strachan doesn’t mention it.

Not once, anywhere, in any of the press reports I have read about the match, have I heard Gordon quoted to say anything remotely positive about Newcastle (the context that the quote “They have experience. It’s a man’s team” gave the implication that Newcastle were better at cheating). Nowhere have I heard him mention the clear penalty Newcastle should have had. Nowhere have I heard him mention Newcastle’s undisputably fine second goal. Nowhere have I heard him mention any of the decisions that went for Middlesbrough. Sour grapes. Bad loser. I don’t have anything against Boro (beyond obviously wanting Newcastle to win); I know Boro fans and I have a great deal of sympathy for the fans because Newcastle have been through pretty much the same mill over the last year or so (although we’ve been ahead on ‘national laughing stock’).

But until Gordon Strachan learns how to lose graciously, and accept that sometimes his team, or his players, or his decisions weren’t as good as those of the opposition, I’m going to keep hoping he loses, because obviously he needs more practice at losing to stop him being such a bad loser. And you can add Grumpychops Wenger to that school while you’re on…

Compare this to Chris Hughton’s comments after Newcastle lost to Nottingham Forest earlier in the season:

We paid the price for a poor first-half performance when they were much better than us. I just wanted to get the players in without conceding a goal and see if we could change and improve things. But Forest scoring just before half-time left us with a bigger challenge and although we responded to it, we just could not get the break. BBC News

Again, he’s getting over the point that he feels his team were unlucky, but he also actually is prepared to give the victors a certain amount of credit: – “they were much better than us”. That, Gordon, is something you could learn from.